So Sorry for not being……

I’m so sorry for not being here more often or checking in on my email as often.  However you may forgive me for my delinquency after you read why.

I’ve been experiencing technical difficulties with my health, is the politest way I can say that I’m having multiple mini strokes on a daily basis & sometimes hourly basis.  So not as mini or minor as I want them to be but according to the last neurologist that I saw in February, I actually have experienced these for over 20+ yrs to his best guess.  So that means all the times I couldn’t remember things while I was an active & overworked pion in the big pool of the work force.  I didn’t receive promotions because I was a disabled mess & didn’t know it.  I finally had to put a stop to working on November 20 2000 for a different medical issue but I was having this issue at the same time I just didn’t realize it because the doctors were to busy trying other tests to figure out what I was explaining as quick short jabs of pain as possible sleep deprivation, or migraine issues, or, or, or, but I finally found by the grace of God a neurologist that understood what I was explaining & told me that he actually saw what I was trying to explain.  I took a visual aide with me this time.  A styrofoam head & my knitting needles to explain the spikes as I called them.  And they hit for no known reason & without warning.  And more & more frequently.

For all that Seek….

This is for all the lonely, wounded spirits.  For all the Lost souls searching for truth, for all the misguided and tortured souls that long for a peace of mind.  For those wanting answers to questions asked but not answered or answered but misguided or mislead or misinformed.

Our Society has been seeking these answers since the beginning of time itself.  And when our innocent child of a being that we are all born as asks …..Why does the Sun shine so bright?  Why does the rain come?  Why do the leaves shimmer when the wind blows?  Why…….?  Our parents/elders that we’ve been blessed with try their best to answer these questions & many more with their limited sometimes misguided knowledge.  And some of us are unfortunate to have not so nurturing parents/elders as they themselves are doing what they’ve been taught from their parents/elders that weren’t as loving or knowledgeable.  They pass the abuse, misguided information & patterns on for that is all they know.  They’ve not stopped to seek any other way.  They are trapped in the years & generations of  unforgiving souls.  They live bound to this torment for they weren’t shown anything else.

Our society/world has been misguided often enough that it is now Lost.  But all is not lost for there is a small fragment of Hope that remain faithfully filled with the Truth.  We as that small fragment of hope need to continue to show to the rest of the world that even in our darkest hours, days, months, or years we still can rejoice without the artificial means of coaxing the happiness that most find with the vices of this world. 

Each of us were born innocent.  No matter the color of your skin.  No matter the shape of your eyes, color or style of hair.  We are all born innocent.  We all need to learn how things are done.  We all must learn how to walk, talk, eat, cook, clean, etc.

Same holds true with our imagination it needs to be nurtured.  So that we might be able to comprehend the unseen, such as God and Satan.  We are taught that there is a heaven and that there is a Hell. and some are even taught that there is a place of in between status known as Purgatory.  Many have tried to explain these concepts and failed.  Others have chosen to believe that all of it is made up and that Man is capable of doing all things without God’s Help.  And that is how society go so messed up to begin with, because enough people over time have been misguided.

Yes, our world has several Religious orders, all of which have some knowledge.  Some are slightly misguided, while others are fully properly guiding those that are believers.  We true believers of God, who know what He has done for us.  Those of us that were just as lost & misguided as our parents/elders were before us.  Those of us that have sought out Truth, and have broken the chains of darkness that held us trapped & bound for hell.  We are the ones that go shouting into the wilderness as John the Baptist had done.  Be not afraid my sons, daughters, brothers, sisters –in Christ to share your testimonies of being saved.  For your glimmer of Light of truth may help heal our world one day.

Yes, there is a Heaven and there is a hell.  And we are currently living in Purgatory whether you ant to accept that or not is up to each of you.  I know where I will go when I die do you?  I know that I was once lost and trapped & headed for hell.  I know that I was misguided in the religion that I was being raised with by my parents/elders.  I know that the relationship I have today is not the same as the religion I was raised into believing.  I practiced a religion of worshipping idols but being told that I wasn’t worshipping idols I was just merely praying to an image of a Saint that could help me.  No, you foolish religious idol worshippers, you are being misguided and mislead to believe something that is not true.  You pray to Saints that have no power, a virgin that gave birth to our savior, but not to the one that can actually do anything for us directly.  We need to accept that God chose to come down to us in our own form known to us & crucified by us as Jesus Christ.  He was our precious gift given to us to save us.  He came so that all may be cleansed by his blood that he gave so freely & willingly on that cross.  Yes, we count that days, months, years since his birth.  Whether you want to believe it or not our calendar was created & we started counting the years A.D. since his birth even you Atheists have been counting time since his birth.

You see I walk with Him and talk with Him every day of my life since I was freed from my slavery of being held captive to society.  I used to numb myself to get through life.  I stumbled through life without a relationship with the one true person that could forgive me for all of my transgressions.  I’m talking to all of us who walked full of shame, blame and couldn’t make it through a day without a dose of the artificial means of happiness that we received by boozing or drugging.  Who now walk without fear.  Stand up and Shout “Praise the Lord”  for you know that HE is and was the answer to gaining your happiness without the artificial dose of alcohol or drug of choice to numb your brain to your pain of life.

God our heavenly Father, creator of all living and none living things is the One responsible for your True Happiness.  That our innocent child that was inspired to seek truth and answers.  he created us like little sponges.  He gave us a mind to ask Why?  Well some of us fell short of keeping HIM in our hearts and minds and so we taught our children wrong.  We misguided them, for generations after generation of these wrong teachings has lead us further away from where we all came.  Back in the very beginning of time and space when all there was to our human race the original two.  All of our religions state that there were these original two individuals.  Given the same set of rules that guided us through the centuries.  Some better than others have come & gone.  But the same 1st question still exists to Believe or NOT!

God didn’t want us to be cookie cutter society of automatons, HE gave us this ability so we may choose for ourselves to either Believe and continue to have eternal and internal happiness with HIM without the aid of artificial means or to NOT believe and rely on the artificial means for gaining our happiness.

I know the pit of darkness that I was taught by society in my life experiences that I was trapped in because I believed what I was told by some that thought they were teaching me correctly but they too are trapped in their own pits of purgatory.  For they didn’t seek out the TRUTH.  I know the lies that held me in my pit of darkness.  I know the Truth that got me out of that same pit.  I asked myself when?  When was I truly the happiest in my life?  And so I dug around inside my pit and sorted and stored this debris from this trauma and that trauma and stacked my boxes.  And sorted through more debris of more traumas and stacked yet more boxes.  And I continued to do this to sort, stack & shovel my way through all the debris until I found where I was truly the happiest in my life.  And that was where I found my innocent little child the one before all the pain, shame and blame.  The one that loved to laugh and giggle and dance in the rain.  The innocent child that we all were once in our life and all can be again if we are willing to go seeking through our pits of darkness.

For some the road to discovering this innocent child won’t be long or very difficult to find.  For others it means years of turning back the layers upon layers of each generation of half truths and looking down deep to see & finally find that lost innocent child that was left so long ago.  Because they were taught to accept the lies of there is NO God.

And for these that are so lost that really have no concept of what life could be like if there really was or is a God!  Just look around & find someone that seems to be beaming with an inner light.  You’ll know them they are the ones that you’ve avoided contact with and called a freak because they didn’t think the same way you did.  They are the ones that thought outside of the box.  The ones that saw good no matter how bad things looked or got.  They were the positive thinkers.  The ones that could be happy even without a glass of beer, wine or any alcoholic spirit.  They are the ones that even when life was giving them a cold shoulder from you, would look at you and smile and quietly to themselves say a prayer on your behalf to their heavenly father to forgive you.  Seek these people out these that seem to be different than everything that you’ve been taught.  For they may be able to shed some of their Love light upon you and allow you to finally begin to see HOPE.

God so loved this world that HE created that He gave it us to enjoy not to destroy.  But alas most of us avoided acknowledging HIM and thus our world has become tormented.  God so loves this world that HE gave us Hope in the for of our Savior His Son.  And once again only some of us accepted this gift and most ignored or shunned it and thus our world fell further into it’s pit of darkness.

God still loves this world. So he’s given us yet another opportunity to be reunited with HIM by having those of us that lived without HIM and now dwell with HIM to share our knowledge with the rest of the world so that All may know HIM.

I’m but one voice.  I’m not highly intelligent.  I’m just a voice in your darkness.  I’m a fellow traveler that climbed out of her pit with the Help of God.  He gave me the strength to continue to sort, and box and stack.  He gave me the hope to finding my innocent child.  He provided for me when I couldn’t or didn’t think I could look anymore.  He gave me the courage to pursue the truth.  To keep digging and dumping all the hurts.  He gave me the strength each day to avoid falling backwards.  When I didn’t want to go forward through anymore of debris of half truths that I was taught.  He gave me the strength when I was weak and wanted to dose my shame away.  He gave me the ability to accept my past failures and look toward my future with HIM.  I was afraid for it meant turning my back on what I was taught to be right only to discover that it was only a part truth.  And for that part that was correct he had me hold onto that information and gave me the strength to let go of the wrong information.  Allowed me to overwrite and backup the new correct doctrines with proper passages from enlightened elders.

So many of the world today have resisted the truth, or twisted it to resemble something they are willing to accept that they wander lost without realizing that they are lost.  Doomed to walk eternity in despair and loneliness.  Doomed to eternal Damnation.  It would be so easy for the world if we would stop rejecting or shifting or bending the truth.  So many ask how can we have world peace but none are willing to accept that the only way to have complete world peace is as easy as just accepting there is ONLY one TRUE GOD, Lord master creator of All.

He has good & evil in His control.  He keeps our world in perfect balance by increasing & decreasing the numbers of species.  By having super skinny balance the Obese.  Super tall being balanced by super short.  With all his wisdom he allowed us to choose to either Believe or NOT believe.  Unfortunately, like all loving parents their fondest wish is for their children to LOVE, HONOR and Respect them, to accept them.  Obey without guilt. And for those that chose to not obey they suffer consequences until they are willing to seek out the Truth.